Silent sex is boring sex.
Let’s be real– I am a girl and I LOVE talking. When I am with a man, all I want him to do is verbalize what he feels, what he believes, what he ate for dinner, what he thinks of my shoes, what he worries about at work, what kind of laundry detergent he uses. EVERYTHING. (I get it, I’m a crazy girl.) And for me, communication is just as important in the sack.
Until recently, I had never hooked up without a little chit-chat. Now, I probably indulge in a little more dirty talk than is commonplace amongst my over-educated and under-sexed peer group, but I don’t always require raunchy communiqué during the act (but I do love it!). But, I need SOMETHING to work with. A simple “give it to me baby” or even “do you like it like that” would suffice.
The other night, I thought there might have been a silent film playing during sex—because I could hear it.
We will call him Pepe. Pepe and I have known each other for about eight years. We had been hooking up for about that time, on and off, vast majority off. Yet, we never sealed the deal. In the years past, no number of dinners at fancy restaurants, drinks at trendy bars, or even a brief Italian and Swiss holiday, could get me to take off the chastity belt. Suddenly, this year, Pepe casually mentioned I looked pretty at a recent Garden Party, and I basically threw my panties in his face.
The sex was fine. But it was QUIET. One of my favorite things about sex (besides that I am having sex!) is that it keeps me present. That’s probably why I love communicating with men—I am so genuinely interested in what comes out of their (bozo) mouths that I don’t think about anything else in that moment. Throughout my daily routine, I am incessantly ruminating—either about my career, my family, or the latest drama on Real Housewives (Did Vicki really have a threesome??). But during sex, all I can think about is how much I love this penis inside me (or my mouth) right now.
However with Pepe, the silence was almost deafening. I remember thinking hmm, maybe I should breathe heavier?? Or let out a slight moan? Would that make it better?He’s giving it a good effort, I don’t want to make him feel bad. And I think I am liking it? What color should I get for my next manicure? Oh wait, let me arch my back– that might help.
We only did it that one time, but Pepe and I are still friendly. We even carpooled to the Hamptons a few days later. But the experience made me realize how much I love a good tête-à-tête. Maybe because Pepe and I never had that much to say to each other outside the boudoir, we had the same issue when finally inside it. So note to self—gab on!